You can transform a nightmare into a fulfilled American Dream

The American Dream or the Immigrant’s Nightmare.  What is it? 

All of us are immigrants into this country.  For many of you, you are following in the tradition and spirit of your immigrant parents, grandparents or great-grandparents…. As for myself, I have started my own generation of Americans.   The paths that brought us here may have been different; but the dream that attracted us, the dream that shed light along the risky trail has always been similar: to prosper on this land of opportunity and freedom, and to provide a better future for ourselves and our families.

However, there is not a guarantee of success.  Some may reach and fulfill their American dream.  For others life in here may become the American nightmare.  As an example I will compare my experience with the experience of a woman I came across recently at my church.

This woman, Lupita, was a seventeen-year-old teenager when she thought for the first time about the American Dream.   She is from Chihuahua, Mexico.  As a young teenager she was always a very poor girl, always lacking many essentials: she did not celebrate Christmas with many gifts or a Christmas tree; and frankly, there were not many days when she had a complete meal either.

One year a neighbor arrived from the United States.  He brought with him a lot of things and what seemed to her like lots of dollars.  He talked about how much money was available in the United States, how abundant the food was, and the many life comforts. 

Lupita, thought about how great it would be if she too could live in the United States.  From that moment all her thoughts focused on how she could enter the United States.

The neighbor told her that crossing the border would be an easy task:  It would only cost about $1,500 but she would need to walk through the Arizona dessert for about two nights.  He also said that there would be many people crossing the border and that if she wanted to do it he would be happy to help her cross the border, he would talk with the people in charge and would ask them that she be allowed to pay them only after they would find her a job in the United States. 

At that moment she felt that the American dream was within her reach.  Her main dream was that she would be working in the USA and her parents and younger siblings would not be lacking anything in the future.

Finally the night selected for crossing the border arrived.  It was the longest night in her life (so many scares, so many close encounters with the border patrol, and long distances to walk, so much adrenaline flowing).  She didn’t rest at all that night.  She slept on the ground during the day, and continued walking again the next evening.  It was dawn when the group was met by a car that was waiting for them on the other side of the border.

She was dropped at a safe house.  A month and a half went by and the coyotes still would not release her.  She was feeling desperate.  Where was the great American dream?  Where were the plentiful jobs so that she could start working?

She managed to escape.  She walked for over a week on the streets of Phoenix without knowing anyone, not knowing where to go.  She survived on whatever food she could get from strangers.    Eventually she met a woman who helped her: she offered a place to sleep and some food in exchange for taking care of her two children and cleaning her house.  

She went through many more survival experiences and situations during the next months.

Her American dream became a nightmare.  She discovered that the American dream was very different from what people had told her.  She had many difficulties and problems.  Soon she even had her first child.

Finding herself alone in this world, with a baby and without money, she thought many times about going back to her homeland.  But she would feel embarrassed about having to face her mother and father.  As time went by she had her second child.  The thought of both of them drove her to continue working.

Today, she lives here in Albuquerque with four daughters.  In poverty, no documents, no job.  Her American dream has transformed into just the hope that her daughters will have a good education and perhaps a better life.

Now, my brief personal story.  You remember that I came to this country dreaming of getting a graduate education.  No difficulties for me crossing the border since I had a student visa documents.

Thirty-five years later, married, with two grown up children, I am ready to retire after a successful career in project management consulting.  I am even ready to start new intellectual challenges such as being an interpreter/translator. 

What a difference in lives experiences.  What a contrast between dreams and nightmares.   My start in this country was helped by having the right documentation and by having the good luck of meeting a few contacts who helped me with job placement and document sponsorship.  It wasn’t just my effort, it was the help and support that I received at the right time from caring and good-hearted people. 

As we walk through the streets in Albuquerque, in the shopping centers and restaurants, we see many immigrant faces.  Each one has a very personal, poignant, and incredible story about their pursuit of the American dream:  a vision that for some has materialized in pleasurable achievements and for others has evolved into terrible nightmares.  

Most of us have reached the point in our lives when our personal fulfillment is measured not by how much we achieve for ourselves, but by how much we help others achieve. 

As we approach the holiday season, let us be thankful for how our American dream has evolved.  And in the spirit of caring and sharing, let us reach to the immigrants and let us try to help them achieve their own dream, as humble and as fulfilling as it may be.

Our small help may make the difference between someone fulfilling his or her American dream, or their remaining in an American nightmare.

Government shutdown

Waiting on a resolution of this shutdown.  The ACA is the law already.

Plant a tree, write a book, and raise a child.

Plant a tree, write a book, and raise a child.

Mr. Suarez: If you want to leave a mark in this world you need to do at least three things: plant a tree, write a book and raise a child before you leave this earth.  Those were the words of one of my best teachers in high school, Juan de Dios Vezga, my teacher of chemistry, biology and anatomy in high school.  And those words, pronounced in a solemn and authoritative tone, still ring in my ears.   Do they mean anything to you?  That stern directive, heard over 40 years ago has guided my life and continues to haunt me.  And today I want to share with you how I have interpreted it and how I have heeded that advice.

Those may not have been his own words.  Some have attributed that advice to Picasso, others to Jose Marti, the great Cuban poet and independence fighter.  Others trace the words to the Talmud.  As with most of wisdom statements, there is probably a long and old history of adaptations and interpretations.  But for now the important thing should be what those words mean and how we can interpret them.

1. Plant a tree.

This advice talks, at least to me, about my duty to recognize how important and how beautiful the environment that surrounds me, and nature is, and about my duty to contribute to improving it for future generations.  You do that by planting a tree and caring for it.  And as we modernize and create more ways to threaten the sustainability and availability of natural resources we must go beyond planting trees… we must look at ways to diminish climate change, water pollution and reduce air contamination.   I planted my own tree.  When my wife and I got married in Austin, Texas we planted a small oak sapling.  It was a hard effort, digging a hole in the rocky, dry ground.  Perhaps a premonition sign of the marriage life difficulties ahead.  Perhaps not a premonition but an admonition.  Today over 30 years later I am glad to report that the oak tree sampling is now a big, strong tree that provides shade and nice green foliage year around.  And our marriage is still thriving.

2. Write a book.

Our civilization has advanced thanks to the increase and transfer of knowledge and experiences from one generation to the next.  Everyone can contribute and everyone needs to. 

It is our duty to document and transfer the knowledge that will help the next generation have a better life.  We don’t want them to have to reinvent the wheel, do we?

I have written several articles, some with opinions, others with more sound statements about engineering or business.  One of them made it into a book, and recently I actually published a short book on the Kindle store.

I think I still have more work to do in this area. 

3. Raise a child.

The first thing that my teacher said regarding this advice was that it didn’t have to be a biological child.   The child represents the effort of helping a person –your child- grow both physically and emotionally.  You can shape his or her views, influence his/her behavior and pass your values, hopes and dreams to your child.

We want to live forever, we want to make sure that our memory and our contributions are remembered.  Having a child, having someone who shares your ideas will extend your presence and your influence in this world for many more generations after you are gone.

I have two children.  Quite frankly I get a lot of satisfaction in those occasions when I observe their behavior and response to situations and I can see that they are reflecting or mirroring my behavior or acting according to the teachings that I have attempted to pass on.

If we feel that we have accomplished all three components of my teacher’s advice: plant a tree, write a book, raise a child, it doesn’t mean that we are done.   My teacher also taught me about the phoenix in Greek mythology: we need to rise from the ashes of our old person and start enjoying a new life every day.